'Oh it is excellent to have a giant's strength, but it is tyrannous to use it like a giant'- Or 'Auditions. Fuckity buggery balls'

I had my first audition for theatre school yesterday. As in my first, real, semi professional audition that actually had some weighting on how my life would turn out in the future. Needless to say I was nervous, I woke up early, sweaty and panicky. For the first half of the two-and-a-bit hour journey to Liverpool I was shitting bricks, for the second half I managed to calm down a little; we were playing Led Zep, so there you go.

In fact, now that I think about it, my nerves were on an absolute roller coaster ride. When I got there, my nerves kicked in, my hands were shaking terribly and I began to hyperventilate. You know, as you do. I registered, got my audition time, and then me and my Dad wandered around the premises. My God, LIPA is perfect for me. The ceilings are sweeping, the auditoriums versatile. The staircases were nothing short of grand, if a little steep, and everything was prim and clean- There was even a box office! I went through my lines a couple of time, and relaxed. This was a place that I could imagine spending my next three years of education. After a quick talk with the tutors (who oh-so kindly revealed that there had been over 2000 applicants, although they neglected to mention how many audition days they were running, from what I could gather, 200 attended on the same day I did) we were split into groups to tour the full extent of the facilities. Classrooms, auditoriums, sound rooms, music rooms, practice rooms, a bridge (bitches love bridges), libraries, study rooms, a bar! LIPA has the lot. I was sold. This place was amazing. Of course, I haven't toured the facilities of the other Drama Schools I'm applying for, but I realised quickly that this place felt right.

Following the tour, I sat down and talked to a few other girls (I'm sorry I forgot to ask your names!) and then went up to the workshop run by two third year students. I'm not going to lie, they're not your stereotypical theatre school students. They were calm, relaxed, easy going and willing to have a bit of a laugh. After the rather fun work shop which involved a lot of running around and throwing, it was time to wait for my audition.

First things first, remember what my wonderful theatre group leader, Sheila told me. Blank out everyone else, don't let their nerves get to you. For the most part, I managed to. I listened to my music, stayed in my own little world as a girl ran out in tears, as each person walked out the audition room with swagger (not swag you sillies) or a painfully defeated look. I would be up in two auditions I discovered. I took my earphones out. That's when he got to me, this student who couldn't stop going on about how nervous he was. It got to me. He went in, came out, I was called in.

I was nervous now. Cheers for that mate. I'm not going to give you the specifics of my audition, I think my Isabella monologue went alright, but it was far from being my best performance. Catherine (Memory of Water) was better, but I discovered that one of the auditioners had directed it, so that put me more than a little on edge. I stumbled through my devised piece, although I seemed to get a few smiles when I mentioned how I had relaxed the night before- You know, slaying dragons and shit. With that said, I left.

Now it's just a waiting game. I'm going to be honest, I don't think that my performances warrant a recall audition, I don't think I've got in. I don't think I let my personality shine through, even though I tried my best to be myself. Here's to hoping, but I know that if I get through to the next round, it'll be because of Skyrim.

And probably my minor acting credits. That as well.

But mostly Skyrim

EDIT: I didn't get a recall. If I'm honest, it was to be expected, (Skyrim, why didn't you save me?!)

'Becoming' Your Character

A little bit of context for this post: I've got my Theatre Studies exam on Tuesday.

What? I only said there would be a little bit of context.

So, for this exam there are two sections, each with equal weightings. 30% of your final grade is based off of a group performance, where you're marked on your ability to abide by the director's (i.e. your teacher's) interpretation of a script, and for our piece we're doing Charlotte Jones' The Dark. The other 30% of your exam mark is based on a 2 minute monologue of your choosing, and you're marked on your written interpretation, movement, characterisation, and voice.

Long story short, being a completely cocky arsehole I decided to play Titania from Midsummer Night's Dream, and believe you me when I say that 'These are the forgeries of jealousy...' may look on the surface to be a relatively easy monologue...But as with anything of Shakespeare, it's one thing saying the words with expression, it's an entirely different thing expressing the language in a way that makes it penetrable to the audience.

Now, as some of you may know, Titania is the Queen of the Fairies. As some of you may not know, I naturally lack grace, and poise, and anything remotely queen- like, asides from my accent (as I discovered, my natural accent wasn't posh enough anyway, I pronounced my 'u's wrong). As the weeks progressed, and as I worked longer on the monologue, I finally managed to grasp the fairy like, but regal manner, that I wanted to portray as Titania.

And then Titania started seeping into my real life. Now, instead of being hunched over when sitting and standing, I generally push my shoulder's back slightly and sit tall. I can't help but pronounce my 'u's as if I'm speaking the Queen's English, and finally, I'm a lot lighter on my feet, seriously. I'm naturally quite a heavy footed person (hence the clumsiness) but now I'm able to prance about without making a sound.

Now this may be something that I've noticed when getting into role as Titania, but it occurs elsewhere in my...'creative pursuits'

For example, whenever I roleplay (as in internet roleplay, not kinky bedroom sex roleplay) as certain character's for a prolonged period of time, I tend to bring across their personality traits into real life, I talk slightly more like I imagine they'd talk, adopt the mannerisms I write for them, adjust my language to suit their background and upbringing.

So, what I want to know is...As an actress and writer, is it a good thing that I find it so easy to adopt my character's mannerisms and such? I mean it doesn't effect me greatly, and when I realise I'm doing it I can snap back to myself straight away, but is it natural to do so?